Psychologist...who needs one?

Me...again...apparently. Yes, I am to be put on the waiting list to see a female psychologist, but the waiting list is approx: 18 months at the moment. It is not urgent in my opinion and I am quite happy to sit and wait.

I saw one, a lady, about 3 years ago but she went off with health problems and never returned. She was great and I was making good progress...and then she left and wasn't replaced for a long time.

So why do I need to see one? Well, it has become increasingly apparent, that I need to alter my thinking with regards to men!!! (I am sure there are girls out there who are thinking the very same! Ha.)

I have managed to overcome depression, anxiety and 4 breakdowns and feel so much better, but I have an ongoing problem that needs to be addressed. The main issue is how I think about men, percieve them and interact with them (or don't in my case, well not comfortably anyway)

I feel quite ashamed to admit that I have very aggressive thoughts towards the majority of men whether I know them or not, like them or not, have a relationship with them or not! So, it is all a little worrying, particularly for the men! I also place each man I come into contact with into a "category" and the headings for the categories are very unsavoury so I won't write them down.

Therefore, the time has come to take action!!! I KNOW the problem is mine and I have to act sooner rather than later.

If I can overcome this very large hurdle in my life, I think I will find some peace. Chasing some poor bloke up the beach with a rock in my hand is not very endearing, and yes, I have done that on more than one occassion! ( and quite recently too) I do laugh when I think of some of the things I have done, but I know it is not a laughing matter and is unacceptable. How I have not been arrested I just don't know.

I can talk to men quite assertively and come across as quite a sociable girl, but it is what is going on in my head that is worrying.

I do know WHY I have these thought patterns and have addressed that, so now it is time for the next stage, altering them!

I do have male friends (they deserve a medal each) and they somehow cope with me, but I don't like how I feel and want to change.

In the meantime, I am working on a one-to-one basis with my nurse re; all this, until my appointment.

I am also staying single (sighs of relief from the male population in general) until I can overcome this problem.

Phew...I have said it.

P.S. Guys, I am still me and if I have said something nice to any of you, I truly meant it...honest!