Well, I wasn't going to post this at all, as it is quite personal, but I have had a change of heart. My nurse says it is something to share and celebrate and she is right.
On Boxing Day, December 26th, I will take my last anti-depressant pill. It is small, yellow, a low dose, but my LAST ONE (fingers and toes crossed). After 13 years of being on anti-depressants, it is quite a scary thought!
In March this year I took my last Temazepam(sleeping pill) and Diazepam (sedative) which I have also taken for 13 years. They were very difficult to stop and I did have withdrawal symptoms but I sort of knew where I stood with them. With the anti-depressants, I have always felt like I have been in unchartered waters.
My nurse who visits once a fortnight is keeping a very close eye on me, and I am also keeping a very close eye on me.! I don't want to become obsessed with what might happen in a negative way, so I am staying positive but aware.
I have followed all the reducing medication regime with my psychiatrist and psychologist, so I have done it all properly.
It is going to feel "different" I suppose, not sliding open the pill tray several times a day, but I also feel quite "liberated".
I have wondered for a long time..."who I really am". Now is my chance to find out I reckon.
It has been hard of late, coping with an overwhelming surge of emotions that are quite alien to me, to actually "feel" is quite a strange experience. I lost my cool recently with a family member, which was quite a surprise. I supposed all these supressed emotions are coming to the surface. I just hope I don't upset too many people on my way....eeek.
There...it is done. Divulged, documented and now archived.
Wish me luck.
Me
x x x
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