It's been a while since I've posted and a lot has happened so I will try to get updated.
On Friday, I worked my last day at the little primary school where I have worked for the past two years as a lunch-time supervisor and an after-school club assistant. I didn't make the decision lightly and I was very sad when I walked out of the school gates on Friday afternoon. I was laden with flowers and gifts and struggled to keep the tears in until I was far enough away to let them out.
I loved the job but so much has been going on with me lately and I felt that I wasn't 100% focused, so I've decided to work all my hours in my other job which is in a restaurant. Maybe it's not as rewarding, but at the moment it has less responsibility, something I don't need too much of in my life right now.
Since my last post, things have deteriorated with my eldest daughter and she has gone to live with her dad. For exactly how long, we are unsure at the moment. I am very upset by all that has happened over the past 18 months but we have all agreed it is for the best. She has her exams coming up in the next year and the way things were going, it wasn't looking good.
I love her very much but her behaviour wasn't acceptable and I have my youngest daughter to think about too. The situation was totally out of hand and it reached crisis point. I had to do something. She is doing OK with Keith and seems to be settling down. This time apart will do us all good, give us time to think and reflect.
My friends at work are disappointed that I have left, but I have to do what I feel is right. I feel sad about many things right now, but it's life and we are all living it.
I am so glad I have good friends. The ones who are there through the good and the bad times. B, you are a star...always there.
And then there's Richie, the man in my life. He's still very much there, as far away as he is from me. I honestly don't know what I would do without him. If ever there was a verbal rainbow, he is it. When we talk on the phone, he warms my heart and lightens up my day.I sure can talk, but he can listen, and does so, most of the time, as I pour out my worries to him on a daily basis. No man has ever really understood me, until Richie. He knows me so well. His voice calms me like no other and his ''way'' is what I've waited all my life for. I love him.
So, that's what's going on in my life at present. Lots of changes. Doors closing all around me, some of them slamming shut, but for every door that closes or slams, another one opens, so they say.
I'm doing lots of walking, lots of talking, lots of praying and trying to keep in touch with my creative side...using the coping strategies I've had to use for the last 18 months.
There are still days when I reach for the medicine cabinet...force of habit I reckon...only to find that them little pills that block out life aren't there anymore.
They are no longer an option for ''how do I cope with this?''...
I hope everyone out there in that big wide world is well...I love reading all about your lives.
Until my next post....smiles from across the miles.
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