Feeling a little low today...and am wondering whether this is "normal under the circumstances" ie: events in my life at present, or is it "depression" rearing it's ever so ugly head again. I took my last anti-depressant on Boxing Day after 13 years of being prescibed them and stopped benzodiazepines (Diazepam and Temazepam) last March, having taken them for the same length of time. I have reduced them slowly, over time, in accordance with my doctor's instructions.
I am tearful regularly, for no apparent reason and seem to have spent the last few weeks with a permanent lump in my throat. I have explained this to my nurse who visits every week and next week I have to complete an anxiety/depression assessment.
Maybe I am just overwhelmed with emotion. Having been drugged up for so long I think I have lost the ability to "feel".
So, I have a plan....
To continue my 4 times weekly gym sessions and long walks on the beach. This will raise my endorphins naturally.
To write regular poetry and prose. This is wonderful therapy and always has been for me.
To be consistent with my healthy eating.
To pray
To book a holiday...working on this as we speak!
and to postpone giving up smoking until I feel a bit more positive, as advised by Berenice who is a non-smoker with asthma!!! I have just stocked up on Nicotine chewing gum, but it will wait.
I think, by recently transforming my appearance, I am trying to move away from the past and become a new person although I do know that it's not as simple as that. (A picture is on its way I promise.)
If depression is rearing its ugly head again, then it has got a battle on its hands. I am ready and armed so let the battle commence.
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